Apathy

Why am I just not caring about jack-diddly-squat?  I am possibly failing one class and not really caring about the others.  I am pushing friends away by being an ass, and I keep trying to dodge out on pre-arranged events.  And the messed up part is that I cannot figure out why.....  Meh, maybe its something stupid and obvious and I'm just not looking hard enough to figure it out....  Actually, I might have a good idea why, but i cannot possibly solve it, because any solution would end up hurtin geither myself or someone that I actually do care about....Fuck it....Fuck it all.....This is stupid, I shouldn't be feeling like this, I should be able to get on and do the right thing.  Definitely should just get my heart ripped out....I would not have as many problems...